The End of Silliness? (1981 Prototype Version) (transcript)
Introduction and Rules Hi, guys. I'm new to this wikia, and I'm going to be uploading a 80's version of "The End of Silliness?". I know a proper way to rewrite this episode and make it more light-hearted. I only ask that you do not edit my rewrite. If you want to help me, you can highlight the "usused harp" line at the beginning and link it to where I can find the sound. You can also help me by putting up images to title cards (except for "The Water Buffalo Song", "The Promised Land", and "Keep Walking") and silent scenes. It also helps to type up what I can see, so anyone else who doesn't know what I typed up can understand better. I also wanna give a special thanks to my good friend, BigRedMonster86 for making this possible. Have fun reading! OPENING LOGOS 1981 Original logos - ' #ABC Video logo #Big Idea presents logo LARRY'S NIGHTMARE AND HEADACHE (Parlor Scene #1) (A thunderclap is heard as the screen cuts from black, revealing a Nighthawks styled ice cream parlor at night as it rains. Saxophone was replaced to 80's music plays as this occurs, indicating that this episode is a mystery-themed episode. From the windows, you can see Jimmy drying or washing dishes (however you see it) and Larry tossing and turning as he softly weeps. We fade to inside the ice cream parlor with a closeup of Jimmy. Then, we cut to Larry, softly crying himself to sleep and tossing and turning.) (Unlike the normal cut, the music stops and an unused harp sound plays as Larry begins to have a bad dream. A green background with a yellow spiral spins around and we fade to the beginning of the cancelled Bear Trap Silly Song from "Madame Blueberry". Starting with Archibald making an announcement.) Archibald: Excuse me, I have an announcement... (Cuts to the middle of his speech) "... And as a result of the disastrous outcomes from the first and previous Silly Songs..." (We cut to "The Water Buffalo Song" as shown in "Where's God when I'm S-Scared?") Larry: ♪Everybody's got a water buffalo.♪ (Cuts to Archibald's lecture) Archibald: You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo! Everyone does not have a water buffalo! Just stop... being... so... SILLY! (Gives a "Hmph!" expression and hops away, leaving Larry to stare at the screen confused.) (We cut to "The Song of the Cebu" from "Josh and the Big Wall!" as we see Larry's slides) Larry (Voice-over): ♪Boy is riding with Cebu.♪ Um... No, wait. Archibald: This is quite disappointing! (The same unused harp sound plays as we fade back to reality, with Archibald's "Disappointing!" echoing. We see Larry still in his sleep, fighting it.) Larry (Sleeping, with tears in his eyes): No. No! (The same unused harp sound plays as we fade back to Larry's nightmare, this time back in the middle of Archibald's speech.) Archibald: "...Management has decided to make a few competitions for other performers..." ("Other performers" echoes) Mr. Lunt: ♪Take on me, Take Me On.♪ Archibald: "Silly Songs" is cancelled... "Silly Songs" is cancelled... until further notice. "Silly Songs" is cancelled... (We see the Sick Cebu and Archie's voice is pitched up two semi-tones) cancelled... (We see the Sad Cebu Archie's voice is pitched up two more semi-tones) cancelled... (We see the Mute Cebu Archie's voice is pitched up two more semi-tones) cancelled... (As Archie's "cancelled" echoes with his voice all chipmunked, we fade back to reality with Larry losing it.) Larry (Slurring): Jimmy! Jimmy! (Grunts) No, wait! (Grunts) Jimmy! (Jimmy hears Larry's unusual behavior and looks at Larry) Jimmy! OH NO! Cebu! Jimmy: Hey, h-h-hey mister. Are you okay? Larry (Slurring): Jimmy! (Grunts) Jimmy! (Grunts) Jimmy (Worried and noticing Larry's pain): Mister! (Camera rotates to Jimmy) Wake up, mister! MISTER! (The camera cuts back to outside the parlor. From inside, Jimmy runs up to Larry to wake him up. Lightning strikes and we see the title of this episode in front of the parlor.) '''ORIGNAL/DVD VERSION OF THE TITLE -' '''Silly Sing Along 2: The End of Silliness? ABC VIDEO VHS VERSION OF THE TITLE -''' '''The End of Silliness? More Really Silly Songs! (After the scene fades to black, the "VeggieTales" theme song plays with Serif Gothic subtitles for the viewer to sing along with.) "A1 AND G7" (Parlor Scene #2) (After the "VeggieTales" theme song ends, we fade from black to reveal Larry with an 80's tuxedo, with Jimmy across his table.) Jimmy: You really had me worried there for a while, buddy. You okay? Larry (Sad): (Sniffs) Yeah, I'm okay. Jimmy: Well, can I get you anything? A push-up? (Larry shakes his head no) Waffle cone? (Larry shakes his head no) A cup full of sprinkles? Larry (Sad): No. I don't need anything. Jimmy: You uh, wanna talk about it? (Larry turns to the jukebox, Jimmy does too as Larry points it out.) Larry (Sad): Does that jukebox work? (Camera focuses on the jukebox) Jimmy (Off-screen): Yep. Larry (Sad): A1 and G7. Jimmy: Huh? Larry (Sad): A1 and G7. Larry (Crying): Just press A1 and G7. (Jimmy hops over to the jukebox to press the buttons) It all started a while back when I was singing this song. And well, I don't know. Looking back at 1980's Song, I can understand. But the one after... was when things... kind of got messed up! (Jimmy pushes the buttons and hops away as soon as "The Water Buffalo Song" (1980's Remix) comes up on the screen.) "THE WATER BUFFALO SONG" (From "Where's God when I'm S-Scared?") NOTE: The old VHS and 1992 DVD versions of this episode use Larry's old dopey voice, while the later 2000s DVD/Blu-Ray versions use Larry's Microsoft Sam voice from the live shows since 1982 and in the 35th Anniversary Edition DVD and Blu-Ray version of "Where's God when I'm S-Scared?" released in 1998. Narrator: And now it's time for "Silly Songs with Larry", the part of the show where Larry comes out a sings a Silly Song. So without further ado, "Silly Songs with Larry". (The screen cuts from the parlor to the countertop. Larry (wearing an oversized cowboy hat) bounces from the right of the screen and faces the audience.) Larry: The Water Buffalo Song. (Smiles as the song starts) (For "The End of Silliness?" 1981 version, Rede Globo subtitles appear for the viewer to sing along with.) ♪Everybody's got a water buffalo. Yours is fast, but mine is slow.♪ ♪Oh where'd we get them, I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo.♪ (Holds a long "ooh" note) ♪I took my buffalo to the store.♪ (A saloon door drops in from the ceiling and Larry puts his head in it) ♪Got his head stuck in the door.♪ (The saloon door rises back up to the ceiling and Larry flips out the door and lands) ♪Spilled some lima beans on the floor. (Starting hopping in place) Oh, everybody's got a...♪ Archibald: (Suddenly rushes in) Stop it! Stop, stop right this instant, what do you think you're doing!? (Song stops and Larry stops bouncing) You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo! Everyone does'' not have a water buffalo! (Jumps at Larry, then steps back) We were going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's ''my water buffalo?" "Why don't I'' have a water buffalo?" (Stretches his head close to Larry's face) And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! Just stop... being... so... SILLY! (Gives a "Hmph!" expression and hops away, leaving Larry to stare at the screen confused.) Narrator: This has been "Silly Songs with Larry". (Song starts again) Tune in next time to hear Larry sing... Larry: ♪Everybody's got a baby kangaroo. Yours is pink, but mine is blue. (Archibald yells off-screen) hers was small but... (Archibald charges at Larry and knocks him over)♪♪﻿ "THE SONG OF THE CEBU" (From "Josh and the Big Wall!") title card "The Song of the Cebu From Josh and the Big wall!" here Narrator: And now it's time for "Silly Songs with Larry", the part of the show where Larry comes out a sings a Silly Song. (After the title card, we fade to the countertop, used as the inside the wall of Jericho. It's dark on the inside, but there's light from the projector on a bed sheet.) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Larry the Cucumber presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event, "The Song of the Cebu."! Larry: ♪Cebú!♪ (Switches a slide) This is a song about a boy. (Switches a slide) A song about a little boy (Switches a slide) and his cebús. A song about a little boy and his ''three cebús. (Switches a slide) A little boy who had a sick cebú... (Switches a slide) a sad cebú... (Switches a slide) and a mute cebú. (Switches a slide) And also a hippo. (Switches to a blank screen, but can't find the right slide.) Um... um... this is me at the airport. (Switches a slide) This is my Aunt Ruth. (Switches a slide) This is me at a bullfight. (Switches a slide) This is me fighting the bull. Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: Ooh! Larry: (Switches a slide) This is me and the bull. Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: Ahh! Larry: (Switches a slide) This is me and the bull and... I think that's the bull's cousin. He's a cebú. (Continues switching slides) Archibald: (Pops up from behind the sheets) Hold it! (Hops around and blocks the screen) You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector and a bed sheet! And what on earth is a cebú, anyway? Larry: It's kind of like a cow. (Switches a slide that reveals two cows) See? Archibald: Yes. Well, very good. This could be interesting. Carry on! Larry: ♪Cebú!♪ Sing it with me! ♪Cebú!♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Cebú!♪ (Larry shows illustrated slides of his story as the song continues) Larry: ♪Boy is riding with Cebu.♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Boy is riding with Cebu.♪ Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Into town in his canoe.♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Into town in his canoe.♪ Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Sick cebú is rowing and sneezing. (Switches a slide) Achoo moo moo, (Switches a slide) achoo moo moo, (Switches a slide) achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo.♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo.♪ Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Hippo chewing on bamboo.♪'' Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Hippo chewing on bamboo.♪'' Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Can't see boy and three cebus.♪'' Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Can't see boy and three cebus.♪'' Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Sad cebú is rowing and crying. (Switches a slide) Boo-hoo moo moo, (Switches a slide) boo-hoo moo moo, (Switches a slide) boo-hoo moo moo, (Switches a slide) boo-hoo moo moo moo moo.♪'' Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo.♪'' Larry: ♪Cebú!♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Cebú!♪ Larry: ♪Cebú!♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Cebú!♪ All: ♪Achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo,boo-hoo moo moo, ce-bú!♪ Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Hippo seen by mute cebú.♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Hippo seen by mute cebú.♪ Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Tries to tell the other two.♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Tries to tell the other two.♪ Larry: ♪(Switches a slide) Mute cebú is waving and grunting. Mmm-hmm mmm mmm,mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm,mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm!♪ Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm!♪ (Larry experiences technical difficulties again) Larry: Uh-oh. (Song slows down and stops as Archibald comes in again) Archibald: WAIT! What happens next!? Larry: Um... (Switches slides as Archibald talks) Archibald: Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute cebú successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad cebú sad? Is the canoe wood or aluminum? Larry: (Switches a slide that reveals his trip to Sea World) Oh look! There's me and Bob at Sea World! (Camera focuses back on Larry as he switches to an unseen slide) Oh, wow. Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: Ooh! Larry: I forgot about that one. (Switches a slide) There's me and that bull again. (Switches a slide) Archibald: You can't just start a song and leave it hanging like that! You know, I've come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite disappointing! I'm going to have to speak to Bob about this. Larry: (Switches a slide revealing a bull glaring) Oh look, a cebú! (Archibald turns around, and the screen fades back to the title card.) Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior (Off-screen): ♪Cebú!♪ Larry (Off-screen): No, wait. That's a water buffalo. Narrator: This has been "Silly Songs with Larry". Tune in next time to hear the audience sing... (The song starts up again and Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior hop across the screen from left to right to the beat of the music.) Jimmy, Jerry, and Junior: ♪No more song about cebú! Need another verse or two! Audience is standing and leaving, Bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo,bye-bye moo moo moo moo.♪♪ Jimmy: I want my money back. Jerry: Yeah, that'd be pretty good. (In "The End of Silliness?" version of this song, the scene cuts back to inside Jimmy's ice cream parlor and the jukebox turns off on the final note of the instrumental. Jimmy laughs for a while, but stops when he notices Larry mad at him.) "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" (Parlor Scene #3) Larry (Mad): What? Do you think that's funny? Jimmy: Well, (Laughs) yeah! (Suddenly guilty for laughing) I mean no! No. Gee, uh... that's gotta hurt. Larry (Rage): Jimmy? HOW DID YOU! (Slams his head to the table) They got them mixed up at Photo-Hut! And I didn't know everyone didn't have water buffaloes! (Growls on the table, without his tears flooding the table. Jimmy realizes how hurt Larry felt about his first Silly Song getting ruined and the "Song of the Cebu" embarrassment ruining his career.) Jimmy: Wow. Y-you know how that feels. It happens. But-but it's not a big deal. Every beginner goes through this. So what if you messed up one or two Silly Songs? It's not the end of the world. (Lovely Asparagus and a shadowed figure walks into the parlor, indicating the first clue of the suspect. Jimmy turns to them.) Jimmy: I'll be right with you in a minute, folks. (Turns back to Larry) What you need is a little something to cheer you up. (Hops over to the jukebox) And I've got just the thing. (Presses a few buttons) There. That oughta do it. title card for "Promise Land From Josh and the Big Wall!" (As "Promised Land" comes up on the jukebox, Jimmy hops back to the counter to take orders.) Jimmy (Off-screen): So what'll it be, folks? (At this point, "Promised Land" begins playing on the Jukebox TV for a few seconds, until it transitions to showing the whole song in full screen when Jimmy slides out of the tent with manna under him. After the song ends with the deflated tent, "Good Morning, George" from "Rack, Shack, and Benny" starts playing, Suddenly, "The Thankfulness Song" from "Madame Blueberry" was cancelled and replaces to "Tropical Paradise" by "Wham!" playing after.) "LARRY'S ANGER ISSUES" (Parlor Scene #4) (As soon as "Tropical Paradise" ends with Larry seeing the water on the TV, he getting very angry again.) Larry (Mad): Oh Yeah?!! My thankful is gone away this time I did have with my Silly Songs?!! (Looks up at the ceiling) I Had Enough, Silly Songs. (Larry is angry.) Jimmy: Okay. Wrong song. Bad timing. (The shadowed figure turns around revealing green eyes showing guilt, indicating the next clue.) A-ah... These'll be great. You'll see. Oh! This one is so funny! (Laughs) ♪You're big, I'm little...♪ (a tea kettle whistle plays, and Jimmy starts panicking.) Okay, buddy. (Presses buttons on the jukebox) Hang on! Daddy's coming! title card for "Keep Walking From Josh and the Big Wall!" (Jimmy hops away to comfort Larry, and the screen fades to the clip of "Josh and the Big Wall!" with Jean-Claude and Phillipe taunting Joshua/Larry's men. The song starts with Phillipe saying "Oh, zat's a great idea! You go ahead and keep walking!". The song plays from there until it ends with the peas laughing while the screen fades to black. After that, "Big Things Too!" from the prequel, "Dave and the Giant Pickle" plays. Then after that song ends, the rap section of "Stuffmart Suite" from "Madame Blueberry" plays, until it ends with Scallion #2 and Scallion #3 hitting the floor as the rap ends. One of them says "Ow!" as the iris closes.) THE CULPRIT IS REVEALED! (Parlor Scene #5) (The screen cuts from black, back to the parlor where Jimmy is laughing hysterically.) Jimmy: Oh, that cracks me up! Bungee! Bungee! Bungee, wungee... wooge, wagee, weegee. Come on! (Laughs some more until he notices Larry's still angry.) Larry (Upset): I hope those guys didn't get hurt falling on their heads like that. (Turns to Jimmy) Do you think they got hurt? Jimmy: Well, gee, buddy. I don't know. They were wearing their helmets. Larry (Upset): Yeah. They were wearing their helmets. That's good. Jimmy: Look, buddy. I know this isn't any of my business, but... w-why are you just so down? Larry (Mad): Because somebody cancelled my segment, and I don't know who. Jimmy: (After hearing this, Jimmy is shocked.) But why? Do you wanna tell me what's going on? Off-Screen Voice: I'LL tell you what's going on! (The camera flies to the shadowed figure in the trench coat. It spins its chair around, revealing Archibald Asparagus! Larry is frustrated to see Archie in front of him, but gets really really mad. As Larry's anger rises, a tea kettle whistle plays. Then he watches Archibald hop to the jukebox.) Archibald: Perhaps these will clear things up! (Faces Larry and glares back at him) (Larry screams ENOUGH!, then Archibald looks surprised and bursts into tears, Archibald turns to the jukebox and presses buttons, cutting to a black screen) "TAKE ON ME" (From "Madame Blueberry 3") (Screen fades from black revealing the "Silly Songs with Larry" title card with Larry in a bear trap.) Narrator: And now it's time for "Silly Songs with Larry", the part of the show where Larry comes out a sings a Silly Song. (Screen fades to Larry struggling to get out of the trap while in the dark, until suddenly the lights come on.) Archibald (Off-screen): Just a moment! Wait! STOP TALKING! (Music ends on cue) Archibald (On-screen): (Hops in from the right) Excuse me, I have an announcement. (Pulls out a document and reads it) "Because of the high standards, we on this show strive to adhere to. And as a result of the disastrous outcomes from the first and previous Silly Songs, management has decided to make a few competitions for other performers for this segment. Several songs were screened and we chose one based on the applicant's sense of artistry and all-around propriety." Thank you. (Puts down the paper and hops away, leaving Larry confused as the camera zooms closer to him.) Larry: So what are you saying? Archibald: I'm saying "Silly Songs" is cancelled until further notice. (Archibald hops away, and Larry looks at his bear trap, then yells at Archibald for this outrage.) Larry (Mad): OH YEAH!? Well then how am I supposed to get out of this bear trap? Archibald (Off-screen): I'm sure you'll figure some way out. ("Take on Me" starts to play as a construction pea pushes a "Love Songs with Mr. Lunt" title screen from the left of the camera's view. Construction work happens from behind the title screen.) Narrator: Ahem. And now it's time for "Love Songs with Mr. Lunt", the part of the show where Mr. Lunt comes out and sings a Love Song. (The pea pushes the title card out of the shot from the right, and makes room as the camera shows the countertop at night, with Jerry in a car at the drive-thru resembling a clown's head. Mr. Lunt is shown in a red bathrobe, with his black hair shown.) Mr Lunt: ♪We're talking away, I don't know what I'm to say I'll say it anyway.".♪ (As Mr. Lunt quotes the off-screen manager behind the clown, the clown's teeth light up.) ♪Today's another day to find you, Shying away.♪ Mr Lunt (Lip-syncing Jerry): ♪" I'll be coming for your love, okay?"♪ (As Mr. Lunt holds his long note, Jerry and Mr. Lunt are in a pink background full of hearts.) Mr. Lunt: ♪Take on me, Take Me on.♪ ♪I'll be gone, in a day or two!!!♪ (A cheeseburger appears on Jerry's head, and the heart shrinks and pops. Jerry wakes up as the room changes to morning.) Mr. Lunt: ♪So needless to say. (A rooster crow is heard) I'm odds and ends, But I'll be stumbling away, (A billboard for Denny's is shown in front of Jerry) Slowly learning that life is okay.♪ (Mr. Lunt is shown in the passenger's seat as the camera zooms out.) (Jerry starts the car, and Mr. Lunt turn to the clown head) ♪Say after me, It's no better to be safe than sorry.♪ ♪Take on Me.♪ Chorus: ♪Take on Me!♪ Mr. Lunt: ♪Take Me On.♪ (Jerry drives away, and he and Mr. Lunt are back in the background of hearts.) ♪I'll be gone.♪ (Jerry is shown with eggs for eyes and bacon for eyebrows.) In a day or two!!!♪ (The bacon floats under the eggs, forming a smile, and the eggs wink. Then the hearts shrink and pop). (Music suddenly stops after Mr. Lunt holds his long note and flips his hair back. Then takes a breath in the next camera shot.) ♪Take on me.♪♪ (The song ends and the camera pulls away from Mr. Lunt until it stops moving.) Archibald (Off-screen): "NO!" (A construction pea pushes the "Love Songs with Mr. Lunt" title card back into the middle of the camera. And more music plays during the closing.) Narrator: This has been "Love Songs with Mr. Lunt". Tune in next time to hear Mr. Lunt say... Mr. Lunt (Off-screen): I grew up in New Jersey. (Screen fades to black on the last note of the closing instrumental score.) THE FORGIVE-O-MATIC (From "God wants me to forgive them!?!") NOTE: Unlike the original version from "God wants me to forgive them!?!", the shots of Bob, Larry, and Junior watching are replaced with shots of Jimmy, Archibald, and Lovely viewing the commercial as Larry continuously slams faster his head on the table. (An iris opens around Scallion #1) Scallion #1: Hey, kids! Have you ever been bad? (A picture of a broken vase bounces from the ceiling) Do you remember when you broke your mom’s favorite vase and then stapled it back together and hope she wouldn’t notice? That was bad! (A trumpet blare plays and the picture is yanked up and replaced with a picture of a grandma screaming at the sight of a snake) Do you remember when you put your pet snake in Aunt Millie’s pajamas and she ran 5 miles without ever getting out of bed? That was bad too! (A trumpet blare plays and the picture is yanked up and replaced with a picture of a teddy bear ripped up in a blender) And do you remember when you stuffed your sister’s teddy bear in the food processor and told her it got chewed up by a "giant bear-eating lizard"? And she believed it? That was really bad! (A trumpet blare plays and the picture is yanked up, then we see all 3 pictures lined up vertically.) The Bible calls the bad things we do, “sin”. And when we sin, we need to be forgiven. That’s right! (Exclusively for "The End of Silliness?" 1981 version, we cut over to Larry slamming his head super fast on the table until the table broke down.) Scallion #1 (On TV): So I know what you're thinking. "Jeepers, I've been bad! How do I get forgiven?" Am I right? (As soon as Archibald hears Scallion #1 ask "Jeepers, I've been bad! How do I get forgiven?", Archibald starts feeling guilty for the crime he had committed. Then we cut back to Scallion #1 as he stands behind the rising curtains.) Scallion #1: Well, moms, dads, and kids of all ages, have I got the thing for you! (Arrows point to the Forgive-o-Matic) The new WrongCo Forgive-o-Matic. (We cut back to Larry stopped slamming his head on the table) Scallion #1 (On TV): Yes, sir! The new WrongCo Forgive-o-Matic slices dices and purees your sins away. It's as easy as this. (We cut back to Scallion #1 demonstrating the Forgive-o-Matic) Scallion #1 (Off-screen): Just dial up your sin here, (Yellow arrow spins) press this button, and... bingo! God forgives you of your sin! (Forgive-o-Matic bounces) Scallion #1 (On-screen): But, wait! There's more! Order now, (A set of knives bounce from the ceiling) and you also receive a set of Gin-Sue Tu steak knives, the strongest knives on earth. Just listen to this. Potato Miner: (Rises on a platform from the floor) Hi. I'm a miner from West Virginia. In the last 3 weeks, we dug 2 miles through solid granite, all with one gin-sue tu steak knife and it’s still going strong. (Platform sinks down) Scallion #1: That's right. You get the Forgive-o-Matic and the steak knives (Knives shine and sparkle) all for one low price of just nineteen-forty-five $19.45. You’ve never seen a deal like this before! Isn’t that right? Potato Miner: (Rises on a platform from the floor) That's right. (Platform sinks down) Scallion #1: So don't delay, order today. (Junior appears from behind the curtains) Operators are standing by. Remember, you get the Forgive-o-Matic and the steak knives all for just nineteen-ninety-five $19.95. (Music ends) You must be eighteen 18 years or older to call. (Smiles) Junior: Ahem. Scallion #1: (Turns his head to Junior) Not now, kid. Can't you see I'm "busy"? Junior: But, I know lots of people who’ve been forgiven for bad things they’ve done. Scallion #1: Oh, yeah? Well, they must have Forgive-o-Matics then. Huh? Junior: Nope. Scallion #1: Well, sure! You-you can't be forgiven without a Forgive-o-Matic. Isn't that right? Potato Miner: (Rises on a platform from the floor) Hey, could you stop sending me up and down? I'm getting really sick. (Hops to the right of the screen, then crashes off-screen, causing the set of knifes to dangle, then drop onto the stage. One knife ends up on the rotating stand.) Junior: The Bible says, if we ask for God to forgive us, then he will. Scallion #1: Y-you mean, all you have to is... ask? Junior: Yep. Scallion #1: You don't need a... a Forgive-o-Matic? Junior: Nope. Scallion #1: Are you sure about this? Junior: I sure am! (After hearing the truth, knowing the product will go bad, Scallion #1 tries to improvise to convince the audience.) Scallion #1: Did I mention that they also make great Julienne fries? Well, just drop a potato in here, uh, push the button, and presto! Out come the best fries you've ever tasted! Junior: (Faces the camera) Oh look, it's time to go! Scallion #1: But wait! There's more! (Runs off stage, then comes back with a tray displaying a shrub version of the Forgive-o-Matic) Just spread these seeds on here, and... and in a few weeks... (Pushes the Forgive-o-Matic off the rotating platform) Voila! (Forgive-o-Matic rolls down and hits the floor) Chia Forgive-o-Matic. Isn't that... cute? Junior: Say "Good night, Gracie". (Hops off the stage just as the stage lights start to turn off one by one) Scallion #1: G-good night, Grace. (A spotlight shines on him, until the two final lights shut off, leaving his eyes visible in the dark) (Scallion #1, finally giving up, hops away, but yelps as he ends up tripping and falling onto the floor) ARCHIBALD'S CONFESSION AND APOLOGY (Parlor Scene #6) (The camera fades back to the parlor, with Jimmy turning to Archibald.) Jimmy: (Gasps) You don't mean... (Suspenseful 80's music plays) Archibald: Yes! I admit it! The culprit was me! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame! Jimmy (Crying): It's was nice knowing ya! No wonder Larry's so upset! I would feel that way too if somebody took my songs away! I'm calling the cops. (With the thought of Archibald getting arrested, worse, getting kicked off "VeggieTales" for committing this crime, Archibald stops Jimmy.) Archibald (Scared): Wait! I-i-if you could just give me one chance I'll explain! (Jimmy looks at Archibald's sad eyes, then looks at Larry laughing at the table with his head down. Then softens up and decides to just give Archibald one chance to confess.) Jimmy: Fine. One chance. But if you make this worse, you're going to jail. Archibald (Scared): It's just that... I... well... Surely you can understand my position. I was simply acting in the public's best interest. We do have standards to uphold, you know. (Jimmy still gives him a scornful look, as if he suspects Archibald is lying to him.) Well... (Starts to run out of ideas, until he suddenly gets one after looking at his briefcase) But then... I got these! (Archibald opens up his case, containing papers until he finds one that has the heading "Save our Silly Songs!", that being the petition made by fans of "VeggieTales" after the release of "Madame Blueberry".) Archibald (Reading): Ahem. "We the undersigned believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget "The Song of the Cebu incident" and what he did to Larry after "The Water Buffalo Song", and apologize to Larry by returning "Silly Songs with Larry" back to its original Veggie programming, signed 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota and even someone in Moose Lake." Larry: (After hearing the news, Larry suddenly rises from the table and asks Archibald) Moose lake? Archibald: Yes. Moose lake. It's in Canada. Larry: Wow. (Smiles) Moose Lake. (Jimmy smiles as well, then the camera focuses on Archibald.) Archibald: The people have spoken. I guess there's only one other thing left to say. (Faces Larry with grunt) Larry, I'm sorry I cancelled "Silly Songs with Larry". I never realized it was so important to you. And there's nothing I can do except hereby decree that Silly Songs is henceforth reinstated. Effective immediately! Which is what, I suppose, henceforth means. But no matter! Go on! Sing with all the silliness you can muster! (Hops onto the counter, and the camera slowly flies up as Archibald gives a powerful speech.) Let the world know, yea unto its farthest reaches, including, but not limited to, Moose Lake, that this is not the end of silliness! No! Quite the contrary! Silliness shall continue! (Archibald starts losing his balance and crashes onto the floor. A girl scream is heard as the dishes clatter onto Archibald. Larry, Jimmy, and Lovely all show concern and look from behind to see if Archibald is all right. Fortunately, he pops his head from behind, revealing he's okay, but is still in pain, thus earning his comeuppance.) I'm okay. I deserved that. But try not to be too silly. (Smiles) Please? Larry: Well, when you put it that way Archibald, (Smiles) okay. I forgive you. Archibald: Good. (Struggles to stand back up, and Jimmy gives him Larry's 80's Tuxedo) (Larry then hops up to Archibald with a paper of his own) Larry: And just to make sure that none of this ever happens again, (Gives Archie a paper) I wrote you a bible verse. (At this point, we see a closeup of the Bible Verse, with Larry reading it as Archibald looks at it from his perspective.) Larry (Reading): "He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. - Ephesians 4:28". Archibald: Why, thank you, Larry. I will treasure this. But, isn't there something else you'd like to share? Larry: As a matter of fact, there is. (Shows a CD and hops up to the jukebox) I've been wanting to play this for the next show... but I think now's the time. (Larry puts the CD in the jukebox, and the jukebox registers Larry's CD showing the "Silly Songs with Larry" title card on the TV. The screen fades, revealing the title card in its full screen and uncropped variant.) THE YODELING VETERINARIAN OF THE ALPS 'NOTE: The old VHS versions of this episode, the soundtrack for "VeggieTunes 3: A Queen, a King, and A Very Blueberry", and even the 2001 VHS for "The Ultimate Silly Song Countdown" use Robert Ellis' original dub for the bear, while the later DVD versions of this Silly Song since 2004 use Mike Nawrocki's redub of the bear's voice. ' Narrator: And now it's time for "Silly Songs with Larry", the part of the show where Larry comes out a sings a Silly Song. (Screen fades revealing the Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery dressed in blue tuxedos, singing like a barbershop quartet.) Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm.♪ ♪There lived a man so long ago. His memory's but faint, was not admired.♪ Scallion #3: Did not inspire. Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪Like president, or saint. But people came from far and near with their afflicted pets for a special cure.♪ Scallion #3: They knew for sure. Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪Wouldn't come from other vets. Whoa-oh!♪ (We switch over to Larry observing Junior's penguin with blue flippers on the exam table.) Larry: ♪This is a song, for your poor sick penguin. He's got a fever, and his toes are blue. But if I sing to your poor sick penguin, he will feel better, in a day or two.♪ ♪Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-hoo. (Penguin slides away from Larry's face up close to him) Ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de-doo!♪ (After the music ends, the penguin spits the thermometer, poking Larry's eye. Then Pa Grape gives Junior advice.) Pa Grape: ♪He's gone a little loopy, in case you haven't heard. (Gives Junior a bottle of penicillin for his penguin) Here's a couple penicillin for your sickly arctic bird.♪ (Junior looks at the camera confused, then the camera swipes back to the quartet.) Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm.♪ ♪No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut, the wondrous deeds that went on in that little alpine hut.♪ Scallion #2: ♪Some would stand in silence, (Scallion #3 joins in)♪ Scallion #2 and #3: ♪While some just scratch their scalps.♪ Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Whoa-oh!♪ (The camera swipes to Pa Grape giving a phone call) Pa Grape: Good news on the penguin, doc! He's up and kicking! (A door open sound effect is heard and the camera zooms away, revealing an orange cat on the exam table meowing. Bob owns that cat.) Larry: ♪This is a song, for your pregnant kitty. She's looking nauseous and a week past due. But if I sing to your pregnant kitty, she will feel better in a day or two.♪ ♪Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-hoo. Ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de-doo!♪ (As soon as the music ends, the cat hisses, indicating her kittens are kicking inside her.) Pa Grape: ♪Jump in your car, drive into the city. (Hands Bob a milk coupon) Buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty.♪ (The camera swipes back to the quartet.) Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm.♪ Scallion #2: ♪The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day. When the nurse who did assist the doc asked♪ Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪For a raise in pay.♪ Scallion #2: ♪The doctor pondered this a while, sat back.♪ Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪And scratched his scalp.♪ Scallion #2: Then said... Larry (Off-screen): No way, ho-zay Jose! Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪To the nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps. Whoa-oh!♪ (The camera swipes to Pa Grape giving another phone call) Pa Grape: Good news on the kitty, doc. She's feeling great. Six kittens. Named one after you. (The same door open is heard, then a door slam is heard, and we see a metal logo covered in bear traps.) THX: (deep note) Larry: ♪This is a song, for your bear-trapped thx. He looks uncomfy, think I'd be too. But if I sing to your bear-trapped thx, he will feel better in a day or two.♪ (Percy looks at Pa Grape, then Pa Grape looks at the screen. The THX also looks at the screen, confused during Larry's yodeling.) ♪Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo. Yodel-leh-hee Yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-hoo. Ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de ya-de-doo!♪ THX: (deep note) Pa Grape: Oh yeah, that'll work. He's good. (The thx deep notes ferociously as Larry keeps yodeling) Larry: ♪Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo!♪ No, wait! This shown work! (The camera slowly flies to the left with the quartet at the countertop rumbles) ♪Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo! You!♪ Hoo! Bloo! Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm.♪ ♪Now the moral of our story, it's the point we hope we've made!♪ Scallion #2: ♪When you go a little loopy, better...♪ Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: ♪Keep your nurse well paid.♪ Larry: ♪(Hops to the left as the THX chases him) Yodel-leh-hee! (Hops to the right as the THX chases him) Yodel-leh-hoo! (Pops up from the center yodeling at the top of his lungs) Yodel odle odle aye de aye de aye de aye de (THX tries to bite Larry during the three beats in the song) Ooh!-Ooh!-Ooh!♪ Scallion Trio and Franken-Celery: WHOA! ♪Some would stand in silence, while some just scratch their scalps. For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!♪♪ (The camera zooms out, and as the song ends, we see Larry out the window being chased by the bear.) Larry (Outside the window): Bloo! (The iris closes around Larry and the credits for "The End of Silliness" roll. The instrumental of the first part of the Silly Song, "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps" plays. Then Larry pops out from the bottom as the credits finish rolling.) Larry: Bloo! (Smiles and the iris closes around him) CLOSING LOGOS '1981 Original logos - ' # Big Idea logo (The screen fades from black showing Bob and Larry in front of the "BIG IDEA" letters, which are very small. The Bear's "Rawr-ha-ha!" makes the letters big. Bob and Larry look at each other confused, but then smile in their trademark poses. Then the bear's "Rawr!" makes the "A" in "IDEA" bounce. The logo is a still frame until it fades to black.) # ABC Video logo (The screen fades from black after the Big Idea logo as we see a still frame of the 1981 ABC Video logo until it too fades to black.) THE END Trivia/Fun Facts * The idea of a re-write for this episode came to me in 2002 when I got the Lyrick Studios VHS of "God wants me to forgive them!?!". I remember quoting the parlor scenes each time I got to the part where Bob tells what happens to Junior starting with me saying Jimmy's first lines at the beginning. * Odd as it may seem, I wasn't scarred for life or given nightmares like most people were when "The End of Silliness?" was introduced to me as a kid. I did find Larry's eyes are crooked though, which is way I removed it in my version and mute it or skip it whenever I re-watch it in general, because realistically, it'd be too late for Larry to scream if Archibald already pushed the buttons that played "His Cheeseburger" and "The Forgive-o-Matic". * After watching "The End of Silliness" a few times when I got the DVD edition from the "Veggietales: The Complete Silly Song Collection" DVD boxset, I felt "The Water Buffalo Song" and "The Forgive-o-Matic" (after knowing more about the series) should have been added to this episode to give us an understanding as to why Archibald didn't want Larry singing anymore Silly Songs. Of course, alternatively, you could also read/watch this with "The Water Buffalo Song" and "The Song of the Cebu" flipped around. * YouTube user jordangaming101 handled most of the additional editing for adding "The Water Buffalo Song" and "The Forgive-o-matic" into the video BigRedMonster86 created, which this rewrite was based on, which also was based on my idea for this rewrite (Read comments section from that linked page). * This wasn't the first time "Silly Songs with Larry" got cancelled. The reason why "The Forgive-o-matic" appears on this sing-along video, despite not being a song, is because at the time in 1994, Phil Vischer and Mike Nawrocki wanted to do more segments in between each episode per video. But after receiving angry letters about why there's no Silly Song segment, "Silly Songs with Larry" became a normal staple. For "The End of Silliness?" 1980's version, these complaints were added speakonia voices, making Archibald more three dimensional and guilty for his actions in "The Water Buffalo Song". * "The Water Buffalo Song" was used before in the first sing along episode, "A Very Silly Sing Along!" (AKA "Very Silly Songs!"). * This episode is my personal favorite, but only with the edits I made. Moral Stealing is wrong, and could hurt someone's feelings. Remarks * The only sing-along episode to have a moral. * Despite not using the "What we have learned" song, a Bible verse is still used, making it the only sing-along episode to have a Bible verse. It also should be noted it wasn't easy finding a proper bible verse about stealing that sums this episode up. * If Bob appeared in this episode, (which he doesn't) he would've been furious at Archibald after revealing himself to be the culprit behind the whole cancellation. * In real life, a crime like this would've still sent Archibald to jail anyway, especially if he were sent to court first. * Archibald would once again say "The culprit was me! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!" in "Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie". Gallery FANMADE Criminal Record for Archibald.png|Archibald's criminal record (Commissioned by me) Category:Transcripts